Mazo Manor - S2E02 - The Art of Social Networking

On the last day in May, we left early from visiting our family so that we could have some time at the beach. It's not exactly on the way, but was well worth taking the scenic route. Mosquitoes were out this time, and as expected we met a lot of people leaving the beach at around 3 in the afternoon. It was odd to see an old pickup camper parked in the lot. It was also odd to see a bike parked along the path, about half-way. There's really nowhere to walk to from that. I looked around a couple times but didn't see anything. Strange...

The beach was perfect -- the temperature was ideal, the wind didn't blow the sand, there weren't any bugs around, and the demographics were good. There were a few families with kids, some groups our age, and some women around too. In fact, there was a rare sight that day -- a pair of women our age who appeared to be a couple! Another rare sight was how high the water was that day. The sandy parts of the islands were gone, and the beach was a little more scrunched than usual.

As soon as we had our clothes off, Clamor approached us and congratulated us. He read our article in N magazine, and thought it was really cool. Of course, he had to ask where that secret place was, and I gave him the general area.

Our first goal was to find Luther and Manikin (new characters), who started the Mazo Beach Facebook group. My girlfriend led us on this hunt, since she was a member of the group and had been talking to them. The cell phones weren't working very well, so we just made a guess. We approached a group on the north side of the beach that were about our age, and asked if they knew Luther and Manikin. Nope. Kingpin didn't know them either, which really surprised us. We went back to our stuff.

What I noticed right away was a strange scenario. There was a group of a guy and an attractive girl both around our age, but they didn't seem to be a couple. Then, there was a middle-aged man half-way between the two and the water who decided that his back needed a lot of sun. His head was propped up looking directly towards them with dark sunglasses. To me, it just seemed rude. It was clear that he was watching them, or at least her. He gets a temporary generic name -- Snoopy.

My girlfriend spotted Luther coming from the south side (not south end) of the beach, and he led us to the pair I was just talking about. The attractive woman we noticed was Manikin, and the guy by her was a friend. It's no wonder they were hard to spot -- we were looking for a couple, not a group of three. We chatted for a while, but they were getting ready to head out. Snoopy never moved.

We convinced them, while they were getting dressed, to come over and meet Kingpin. During the walk, I asked the friend of the group about Snoopy, and he said that it was really bugging Manikin and that he had been there for a long time. I promised to "have a talk" with Snoopy after they met Kingpin. After literally two minutes of chatting, I turned around and found that Snoopy had disappeared! I mumbled a few choice words... I told the friend that next time, they need to request assistance from the regulars. They at least know Kingpin now.

After the group left, Kingpin informed me that a DNR warden grabbed one of the handouts for the summer festivities and had an angry look on his face. Gaia put them up, so I wasn't at fault, but my contact information is on them. It's good to know just in case I get a call from the DNR. I was a bit surprised that Kingpin told me this -- we must be on somewhat good terms now, which means I must've done the right thing in the previous episode.

Jumping ahead in this paragraph [insert candid interview scene here]: In a later phone call with Gaia, the rumor was that someone from the Elders had called the DNR complaining about the sign. Since Kingpin was at least close enough to detail the DNR warden's face, he may have been involved. The truth may unfold in a later episode. Like I said though, it's just a rumor. Gaia has put signs there for many years without problems, and always had permission from a different DNR warden.

Back at the beach, my girlfriend was approached by a pair that we had seen before in episode 5 last season. This time, they get names: Flake and Gonzo. Gonzo was the one flying the big flag on the beach. The one I didn't mention was Flake. In that same episode, he loudly read the captions in our Brag Book. I found that quite annoying. Both seemed a bit questionable.

The canaries of the beach cleared out when the sun went behind the clouds and a chill ran through the air. We were talking with Flake and Gonzo while that happened, and decided to stick around anyway. They are a truly odd couple... Gonzo is way out there; he looks like a tough tattooed skinny guy, and talks like a hippy. Most of what he says is completely inappropriate, like asking my girlfriend if he can draw circles around her nipples, but he doesn't talk much. Flake usually shakes his head when that happens. Flake is more like a straight-laced traditional family man. He's better at talking, and is quite convincing at being a good naturist, but he still slips on occasion and proves he's in the same boat as Gonzo.

The pair finally left us alone, and we scoped out who was left at the beach. There were a few singles on the north side, and the pair we didn't want to talk to anymore. The south side was more tempting, with a couple our age, a single guy our age, the slightly-younger-than-us female couple (who were swimming and giving each-other piggyback rides in the water earlier), and an older gentleman who was either sleeping or reading. We chose to socialize on that side of the beach, and promote the summer festivities to people our age.

We worked our way up from the water, and first was the couple. We recognized them as we got closer -- they were the couple that we didn't get to visit much with in episode 3. We were delighted to finally be able to chat with them! Since I hope to see them again, I'll give them names: Boots (him) and Tank (her). They live not too far away from us, so carpooling and meeting up elsewhere is an option. They are also getting married soon, and may still be on their honeymoon during the Mazo beach festivities. Where are they going? The Rainbow Gathering, which I'm sure many have never heard of. Lucky for me, I recently read N 12.1 which explained what it is. I asked if they had announced a location yet, or if they wait until the week of the event? Not yet, usually at the last minute. I wish I could go.

During our conversation, Flake and Gonzo appeared. They knew us, and probably wanted to get an eye-full. Flake told stories, challenged Tank to some frisbee golf, and invited them to share a room. (What?) He then went into another story.

With them distracted, and the female couple starting to pack things up, my girlfriend and I excused ourselves, approached the single male our age, and then split up when he started asking questions. I continued to talk to him, and answer his questions, and he slowly strayed topics. He asked for some pointers to swinging clubs. I gave him names for the ones I heard of, emphasized the divide between naturist clubs and swinging clubs, and he seemed content.

My girlfriend had a nice chat with the women, and encouraged them to attend the summer festivities. They were all on good terms and the couple were getting dressed. Our plan backfired when Flake decided to join in. I walked to them quickly afterwords to make sure the situation stayed clean, and my girlfriend decided to run to some geese. Thanks... what a help you are!

Flake told stories, and the women were looking at each-other figuring out how to get away. I was behind Flake, so I waved and then signaled that they should leave with a smile on my face. They got the hint, and just walked away mid-story. Not long after, Flake and Gonzo decided to leave -- I really hope the women made it out! We felt terrible... Not just for them, but for Boots and Tank as well.

We went back to them and apologized after collecting our stuff. They are very understanding and tough enough to handle situations with undesirable people. More people need to be like that, especially as the beach thins out in the late evenings.

Nobody was on the north or central part of the beach. The flock of geese (or is it a gaggle of geese?) that my girlfriend approached earlier swam up and took the spot of the Elders on the beach. It was really amazing, and quite humorous, to see the naked birds replace the naked people. Their demographics were better than ours too.

Back in the parking lot, that pickup camper was still there. I heard the voices of Flake and Gonzo inside, and nobody else. I hope they weren't planning to camp there all night. If they did, then I hope the DNR gave them a ticket for doing so since the area is closed all night. We left before they noticed us.

Since then, I've vowed to be more stern with Flake and Gonzo. If they say anything inappropriate, they're going to hear about it instead of me letting it slide. It's rude of them to bother us and anyone we try to talk to.

NEXT EPISODE