Bare Bones Bash 2008

My vivacious lady-friend and I attended the Badger Naturists / Friends of Mazo Beach Bare Bones Bash Halloween party. Pictures were taken, which may eventually end up on their website as promised.

Prior to the event, we had to pick costumes. Since this was the first time we had gone to this event, we didn't want to go overboard with the costumes. Our goal was something simple, something funny or cute, and something that matches. Lucky for us, I have a Burning Man obsession. Burning Man, although not quite as good as the Halloween party in Madison, is a great place for costume ideas. I recalled a picture where the female was dressed as a cute bunny, and the male wore nothing except a certain spot painted like a carrot. I'd link to the picture, but after hours of searching over the last month I just can't find it! I'm really not fond of drawing attention to certain areas of my body, but the idea was too good to pass up.

While my girlfriend was giving a coworker a ride, the coworker noticed the bunny ears, bow tie, and bunny tail. She then asked "Is that your costume?" My girlfriend answered yes. "Where's the rest of it?" Silence... "There IS more to it, right?" "Wait, do I even want to know?" She knows about our lifestyle, so I'm sure she figured it out. Who DIDN'T figure it out is the store clerk when my girlfriend was shopping for make-up. "I need some orange and green since my boyfriend is dressing as a carrot." "So I'm guessing that the green is for his hair and the orange is for his skin?" "Yeah, something like that." If only she knew!

We arrived at the event and checked in to our rooms. Paper was still going up, so I donned the only normal-sized towel we brought. (I figured that we'd only be sitting on them, and knew I'd be wearing body paint. I brought a mini-towel and a regular towel that I didn't mind staining.) Steve from AllNudist (see his story) was one of the many that saw me wearing the towel. His comment was very direct: "It looks like you fished it out of the garbage after your mother threw it away." He proceeded to give me a free sarong because he felt so sorry for me. Thanks, I guess. I'll get some use out of it next summer too, or add it to my girlfriend's new collection.

My girlfriend isn't shy like I sometimes am. Before I knew it, we were signed up for most of the games. We donned our costumes and returned to the main event area. She wore just her bunny ears, bow-tie, and bunny tail (with an elastic band around her waist. I offered to buy her a more realistic tail but she made threats.) I wore my "carrot", with a small bunny on my hat and the words "She (heart)'s her veggies!" written on my chest. People always laughed when they figured it out-- so the costumes went over well! We won the "most original couple" costume award. We also got 3rd place in the candy corn throwing / catching game, 4th place in the back-o-lantern (where one person paints a Halloween image on the others' back), she got 3rd in bowling, and I won a quiz on "scary government". We brought home a bunch of stuff: TNS bags, pens, clip thingies, license plate cover, temporary tattoos, and 5 "N" magazines. After I read the magazines, I'll lend them to my friend to get her interested in joining us sometime. They might also make a good icebreaker if someone happens to see them in my book collection.

Actually, it's getting increasingly difficult to hide our lifestyle. We just keep bringing home more and more stuff. This time, however, we followed houseboat rules and got rid of some stuff too.

Part of the event was a food drive for the area to the south of where we were. It's been in the news how desperate the food pantries are getting, with many having to turn people away. Our target pantry was one of those that didn't have much of a stock left. The person who came to pick up the stuff was blown away -- the event collected a large table FULL of food items, and a fair amount of cash to donate.

This event took place at a hotel that is perfectly suited to naturist use. We brought in great business for the hotel, and kept the facilities just as clean as when we arrived. Even the hotel rooms were mostly clean! (My girlfriend and I helped out a lot, and part of that was checking the rooms and collecting keys.) It's a shame that not many businesses agree to do business with us -- they give up a win-win situation mostly because of the pressures of society.

If you didn't already figure it out -- we had a blast! Parties like these are amazing, and I will do everything I can to help out with future ones! I was in such a good mood that I bought a TNS membership for the next two years, mostly because they have a great magazine and a bunch of smart people that do a lot of good things.

I'll end this post with some other quotes from the evening...
"Do they even wear costumes over there?" - The lady at the gift shop, outside the venue.
"So that's how your tongue is so orange" - The award-winning cowboy, speaking to my girlfriend.
"Is it a vegetable or is it meat?" - A confused friend.
"I liked it better when it was a carrot" - The most prominent lady of the event.

UPDATE: As a follow-up joke, see what I got on the next Valentine's Day.

Mazo Manor - S1E07 - Missing John

I was right... Since last time, the weather dipped down far enough to signal the first frost advisory of the season. Then, the warm wave came in. For the last week, I've watched the forecast for this weekend (Oct. 11th) climb from 72 degrees all the way to 81 degrees and sunny. In other words, this weekend would be the perfect way to end the season!

Even if the weather decides to bounce back again in another two weeks, we'll be busy at the Halloween party. Since we won't be at the beach any more this year, this will be the last Mazo Manor. I may or may not continue the series next season. (I'm not very good at writing drama anyway, as per my original intent.) I will at least tell the bigger stories, such as my attempt to bring back the Nude Olympics. I will have a dedicated post about this initiative sometime over the winter.

We made it to the beach slightly after noon. The parking lot was about 3/4 full, and the first thing we noticed was that the porta-potty was missing. Perhaps it was a mistake for us to skip the bathroom in Subway, because that was the only stop we made in our 1.5 hours of travel. What are the chances that there is one by the beach? We started the hike to find out.

Along the way, we noticed something very strange. It wasn't a bad thing though because we really enjoyed it... There were no mosquitoes! Seriously, there were none to be found, and I have no idea why. It felt as-if they might be planning an ambush, but we made it through safely. We encountered a couple on the way back, but nowhere near the normal amount. The insects of the day were a few more bees than usual and an attack of harmonia axyridis.

Upon arrival, we saw that all groups were represented. It seems that everyone wanted to make the most of this surprisingly beautiful day. Almanac measured the water temp at 64 degrees, which was a bit cold for us! We set up near the Elders as usual, but didn't do a whole lot of talking. Sometimes it's hard to get a word in edgewise with that group...

At some point, it always happens. My vivacious lady friend turns to me with a smile on her face and says "Thank you -- you always seem to know what I want better than I do." Three hours of driving, bugs that bite along over two miles of hiking, sand in places where it don't belong, and cooling off in often questionable water -- is going to the beach really worth it? Hell yeah! A day at the beach is like having a nice long massage for both of us. It relaxes the stress away, without all the touching.

We went for a walk to the island, mostly hoping that we could find a place to pee. (Remember, no porta-potties!) Wading through the water didn't help, because it was a bit icky with algae for us to want to sit in, and only made us want to go more. On the island, a guy approached us and had 1.5 of our names correct. (Mine correct, hers close.) While talking to us, he kept mentioning things that we didn't remember. Neither of us remember meeting him before, but we've met a lot of people too. It's likely that he was confusing us with another couple, like many others have when seeing us. Either way, it was a strange interaction. I need to start being like these people, so I can recall who people are much better.

Early on, I spotted another couple around our age on the beach and figured that we could try meeting them. They looked familiar, but I couldn't figure out where from... I figured that they must've been on the beach before. I know that I've never talked to them. My girlfriend recognized the guy, but also couldn't remember where from. They were in front of the Elders, and as we made our way to them I remembered exactly where I had seen them before. Since we were there already, I said "You were at the car show!" This brought forth a flood of memories from the car show, including why I didn't want to talk to them the first time.

At the car show, they were camping a few tents down from us. They were a bit too touchy-feely, with his hand almost always on her butt. A cute couple for sure, but they own a swinger place. My girlfriend got a flier from him at the car show, and they made it a point to give us another one this time.

At the same time, they answered to another mystery. I've always been curious about the other very social group that sometimes forms on the slightly-left side of the beach. The couple were part of that group. I may be jumping to conclusions, but it makes sense because there are almost always different people chatting away there.

By this time we both really had to pee, so we decided to head out a bit early. (I heard several people who had the same problem.) Some of the Elders decided to head out as well, but I hadn't yet talked to them despite being so close and saying "Hi". Getting quickly to the point, I approached Kingpin and said "You haven't called me a double-agent yet today, are you feeling OK?" He mentioned that he hopes I'm not spying for the wrong side, and I corrected him in saying that I'm not spying for either side. Hopefully that was enough to get my point across, because we were both heading out and didn't talk much beyond that.

After the beach, we supported the local economy (and local wastewater treatment facility) by visiting the drive-in restaurant. They have good food and good treats, so it's recommended. Despite all the awkward moments, it was still a great day at the beach, and a great end to the season!

NEXT SEASON

Missed News (10/2008)

I tune in to a lot of news feeds, and every so often I catch something interesting that the rest of the blogosphere seems to miss. I've started saving these items, and every couple of months I will post them here.

For general nudist-related news, I suggest Diary of a Nudist (and his shared news which is temporarily political), USAnudist, NAC, and the TCI blog if you can stand the ad's. Those cover almost all of the nudist related news. I don't want to repeat that news here, so I'm just filling in the gaps.

Anyway, on to the content!

• In Saudi Arabia the owners of TV stations can now be executed if they air immodest shows, especially during Ramadan.
• If only society actually wore these clothes... Fashion designers are bored covering the body, so they are exposing more of it instead. (slideshow available) It seems odd that the trend started in the US.
  
• Congrats go to the Katikati -- they have won the "Best Holiday Park" award from New Zealand Tourism. See the news story and good video.
• There is a conflict between two of my big interests: nudism and environmentalism. Naked bathers are protesting geothermal plants because they would take away the hot water. On one side is 20,000 megawatts of clean energy, and on the other side is 137 million bathers at 7,700 spas. Someone should inform them that electricity can make hot water, and a compromise should be reached so that they can get free electric to do so.
  
• Here's a fun picture showing a new level of censorship.
  

Mazo Manor - S1E06 - Trash Talk

I rode the motorcycle to the mazo parking lot for the twice-annual road cleanup. There were about 15 of us, similar to last time. After a few doughnuts, we put on our stylish safety vests and got to work. I volunteered for Laws Drive again, because I was interested in seeing just how much trash accumulates over a summer. My partner-in-cleanup was the Badger Naturists website administrator, who was snapping pictures for the site. (As of now, they haven't been published yet on their site.) I'll skip the tech-talk that made up the majority of our conversation in order to keep you the reader awake. He has visited Cap D'Agde, and told me that it's very much a city atmosphere and that people are quick to put clothes on as soon as the sun goes down. Good to know, I guess, since I've been hoping to visit there sometime.

Notable items that I found while picking up trash include an eaten ear of corn, a bird skull, and 5 condom wrappers. I also found a standard geocaching information sheet and a geocaching business card, which indicates that a geocache had been stolen. I posted a note on the one that was likely attacked. [UPDATE: The cache was stolen, and was replaced a month later.] My partner and I picked up about one large bag full of trash in total, which is half what I collected this spring. That's still a lot of trash for only 4.5 months! The entire crew had to deal with styrofoam packing peanuts, which makes me wish that more companies would switch to using the corn-starch ones that literally melt away when wet. Lastly, the crew observed that there were less cigarette packages and butts than normal, indicating that more people might be quitting the habit. I was happy to find out that I'm not the only one deriving statistics from trash cleanup.

After the cleanup, I had a difficult choice to make. Normally, everyone goes to Culvers for some free ice cream and what ends up being a club meeting for the Diligents. The other option was to ride with Clamor and Screech to the nearest Subway and then head straight to the beach. Culvers would strengthen my social standing with the Diligents, and further hurt my social standing with the Elders. Subway would probably not change my standing with the Diligents, and would indicate to the Elders that my intent was to help the community. To the pity of others, I chose to go with Clamor and Screech.

On the way to the beach, I saw a few DNR people and a group of Hmong hunters. The hunters were a bit scary, because all had their rifles slung on the backs, and several had some pretty large scopes. Is a large scope really needed for hunting near a nude beach? I started to wonder how many "hunters" might be hiding in camo on the other side of the river with their large scopes... I should buy one of these and find out.

As I walked past the Contenders, I returned their ball that landed a few feet from me. (This seems to happen a lot...) At the beach, I made it a point to sit near the Elders and make sure they knew that I helped with the road cleanup but didn't go to Culvers with the rest of the crew. They at least talked to me a bit, but have been referring to me as a "double-agent".

At one point, Smokey put on a pair of shorts and went to the parking lot. The Contenders' ball landed a few feet away from him. He looked at it, looked at them, and kept going. In my opinion, it's actions like these that further separate the groups on the beach. I wish they'd quit. Holding a grudge results in a never-ending cycle of negativity.

The sky was getting cloudy and the temperature was getting cool. The canaries of the beach had put their clothes back on. Kingpin and Smokey decided to call it a day early in the evening, at roughly the same time as more of the Diligents were showing up. Being a "double-agent", this worked to my advantage.

Gaia approached me and gave me a TNS golf shirt. I was confused, until she told me that my name was drawn for the prize. Cool! I tried it on, mostly because I was cold. It's a bit small (I think) and not my color (green), but I wore it for the rest of the day including a trip to Walmart. I plan to wear it when I can, including possibly to work. However, the green color might scare them more than the text.

It's amazing how much some of the beach members travel. Two of the cleanup crew were from Florida -- why they decided to clean up trash, I have no idea... Also, there was an older couple there who were back from 3 weeks in Germany. They reported that gas was $9 per gallon over there, so even their motorcycle was expensive to run. Here in the States, they often drive a veggie oil powered diesel.

Someone was telling me more about the Burning Man festival, since they had attended it a few times. They love it and hate it all at the same time. They love the radical self-expression, but hate some of the social situations. They told me about a naked woman who was in a large tray of glitter, and who had a crowd of men rubbing the glitter on her, and even in her special lady parts. Witnessing this, it was unclear if she was OK with this situation. If not, how would one person get all those men to stop? Social pressure is yet another danger for the festival, and the widespread drug use doesn't help.

Everyone at the beach had the idea that this would be the last good weekend of the summer. The temperatures are getting colder, but I've noticed that weather always comes in waves. The forecast indicates a cold wave, and after that will probably be another warm wave. I think we'll have another good weekend, or at least good weekday, where we can enjoy the beach. On this day, I intend to have a longer discussion with the Elders. I think they are worried that I will tell the Diligents details about them, and I need to clarify that I won't. Previous posts explain my intent well enough, but I am unsure if they read this blog. Either way, I feel as if I need to reconnect with them before it's too late.

NEXT EPISODE

Nude Among Textiles (Part 3)

[Continuing Jon's story from part 2...]

Many naturists equate being nude with being in tune with nature. Try being nude during a desert dust storm of whiteout proportions. It's nature at its wildest. The storms develop suddenly and last only a short time. All you can do is turn your back to the wind and cover your face and nose. When it's over you're coated with a fine white powdered dust. At least I didn't have to wash it out of my clothes.

After living nude and seeing a lot of surrounding casual nudity, it was humorous to one day watch a lone textile, wearing white briefs, struggle to bathe in an outdoor shower. You have to wonder how he ever worked up the courage to even be seen in public in his underwear.

We can all look back on our youth and remember the excitement generated by the ice cream truck when it visited the neighborhood. Similar scenes were abundant at the festival when the water truck sprinkling the dusty streets passed your campsite. People of all ages immediately stripped nude to chase the truck and briefly enjoy the cool spray and a chance to rinse off the dust.

All too soon it was time to leave. After loading the van, I drove off, still nude. Volunteers stationed at the exit, reminded folks they were returning to the real world and to drive carefully because local authorities loved the money traffic violations produced. The volunteer suggested I put something on in case I was stopped. I complied by donning a pair of cotton shorts for the short drive to nearby Gerlach. I was headed northwest for Oregon through a lonely stretch of desert terrain. After passing Gerlach, the shorts came off and I drove nude for the next hour and a half. At one point I took a long break to refill my water bottle and walked up the road for a hundred yards surveying the empty landscape. It was quite amazing to stand nude in the middle of a highway and see nothing but miles of sagebrush and the distant hills.

Signs of civilization appeared as I approached Eagleville, California, the first outpost of civilization, 69 miles from Gerlach. Spotting an attractive local café reminded me it was lunchtime. I parked across the road to put on my shorts. As I entered the café I hadn't quite started to button my shirt when a waitress, obviously alarmed by my exposed chest and abdomen, quickly approached and insisted I button the shirt completely before entering! Welcome back to the world of prudish textiles. I wonder what she would say if she knew I had been nude for the past four days and was naked only two minutes before meeting her?

Burning Man was such a delightful and positive experience in living the nude life, I'm already making plans to attend [another] festival to enjoy all eight days of it.

[If you have any comments, questions, or similar stories, be sure to post them below.]

Nude Among Textiles (Part 2)

[Continuing Jon's story from part 1...]

Selecting my campsite, I got out of the van and immediately stripped nude before doing anything else. After setting up camp I wandered around and nervously introduced myself to surrounding neighbors. I let each of them know my purpose for attending the festival was to be nude for the entire time. No one voiced objections or concern. Over a period of time I saw most of these neighbors engaged in occasional casual nudity around their campsites. Later, I observed two other individuals a little further away who also were always nude.

When I set out to explore the festival site that first morning I was still nervous and very conscious of my nudity. It felt like the whole world was watching. As I searched for Center City I saw a lot people who were nearly nude in costumes that in any other setting would be deemed erotic. But I was still the only completely nude person in sight and was beginning to wonder if I had made a big mistake. After about a half an hour, I finally saw another nude guy. Soon, others were spotted in the crowd. Satisfied that I was not a lone nude eliminated much of my nervousness.

Center City dispelled any further hesitations. It is a huge circular tent-like structure, about 200 feet in diameter. It's a desert version of a Starbuck's coffee shop with a lot more attractions. Best of all, it was shaded. Coffee and tea were available along one side on the outer edge. In the middle was a large circular area for performance artists. Surrounding the area were benches, couches, easy chairs and cushions for people sit and relax, drink their coffee, converse and watch or interact with the various activities going on around them. There were also two stages for scheduled performances.

The crowd numbered in the hundreds as they came and went. It didn't take long to feel quite at ease being nude as I elbowed my way through the crowd. No one was alarmed to turn and suddenly discover they were standing six inches from a naked guy! Eventually I saw a nude woman in the crowd. Seeing her, all remaining concerns melted away and knew I would have no further problem being nude for the remainder of my stay.

I'm not particularly 'courageous.' I was a little nervous at the start of this venture because it is basically a textile venue, and who knows what to expect in a mob of 30,000. But where nudity is legal, customary or tolerated, I have had no problem participating because most other participants are nude. Burning Man was an entirely different situation.

It is an amazing experience to get up in the morning and stroll the half mile to 'Center City' for coffee, a newspaper, and watch the parade of people and performance artists, all while nude. Often time, I was the only nude in sight. Festival participants are basically textiles, but with a difference. As a massive outdoor art show where everyone is expected to participate, most dress in outrageous costumes. Near nudity seemed to be the uniform of the day. Topless was common, as were bikini bottoms, thongs, g-strings and sarongs for the gals. Many guys sported sarongs and kilts, even skirts. Quite a few were 'costumed' only in body paint. And then there was a small minority, like me, mostly male, who were completely nude.

It didn't take long to become accustomed to living nude among textiles. It was an ordinary state of being. And there was no indication the textiled mass cared otherwise. I became perfectly at ease being the only nude in a conversational group or the only nude in sight as I wandered the miles of temporary streets. One morning I approached the Bureau of Land Management trailer to look at the brochures describing the Black Rock Desert where the event is held. A uniformed ranger stepped out and welcomed me. We had a long conversation about the geology and history of the area. Not once did he indicate my nudity was offensive, out of place or unwelcome. Contacts with local Nevada law enforcement officials were the same, but I doubt their acceptance extended beyond the festival site boundary.

Wandering about the enormous temporary city, it was not uncommon to be the only nude in a crowd of hundreds. Nobody cared, stared, or said a thing. It became evident that although most participants might not stroll around completely nude, a very significant number had little hesitation engaging in casual nudity around their campsite while dressing, showering or just hanging out. Interesting to speculate if this attitude might apply to the US population in general, or are the participants just different from everyone else.

An interesting commentary on nudity developed in the locally produced festival newspapers. It appeared a trend was noted when a number of males were observed wearing only unbuttoned shirts. Did the writers tell them to cover up or put on pants or shorts? Quite the opposite. Their opinion was wearing only a shirt looked stupid and it would be much better aesthetically if the fashion offenders dispensed with the shirts and went nude!

[Part 3 (final)]

Nude Among Textiles (Part 1)

I got an interesting response to my annual Burning Man post from a reader named Jon. He attended Burning Man 2003 for the sole purpose of living naked among a bunch of textilers. Him and I share a common curiosity: What would a true clothing-optional society be like? Especially if the majority of the people are textile? There's no better place to find out than Black Rock City.

This clothing-optional city goes from a normal population of zero to (currently) almost 50,000! (That's more than Cap d'Agde!) It doesn't have the same luxuries as a typical clothing-optional venue, but does have the basics such as beautiful weather, grass, large swimming pools, luxury accomodation, a roller disco, and even a few cruise ships. If you're up for recreation, try some hockey, or a few other games. There are also plenty of activities for the kids after school such as teeter-totters, swings, and bouncy castles. Of course, there are adult things too after work, but some just like to complain. Hey -- wait a minute -- that last link has a naked guy wearing a cheesehead hat. Take a closer look and let me know if any of you Wisconsin nudists recognize him.

UPDATE: A number of the links above have broken, but they all linked to funny pictures related to what I'm talking about. I'm leaving them as-is, since removing the links would look silly.

Anyway, back to Jon's story. I found his story interesting because it parallels what might happen if the clothing laws were relaxed everywhere. The first brave people go nude, and the first prudes would freak out about it. Give it some time, and society would likely have the same attitude as mentioned in the story. Being the only nude in a textile group is often uncomfortable -- but why? Is it because we feel that we are dressed inappropriately? Or is it because we are worried about what others are thinking? Jon's story answers to this.

Another reason I found it interesting is because I've wanted to do the exact same thing. I want to go to Burning Man and be naked! One of these years, I finally will, and I'll probably have a similar story to tell. Until then, I have plans to be nude among textiles in a much smaller place next summer. I'll tell that story when it happens...

The following is part 1 (of 3) of Jon's story. Anything that I changed or commented on is in [brackets].

---

Quite some time ago I came across the following on a site about nudity at the "Burning Man" festival that stirred my imagination [I found the referenced site, but it's not one I'm going to link to here...]:

"The large majority of people at the Festival don't go nude, at least most of the time. But anyone can be nude if they wish to be. It's an interesting lesson in how nudity fits smoothly in 'everyday life' (if it can be called that in this context) when each person is free to choose how to dress without the usual social taboos. Although nude people at the Festival are a minority, in contrast to the conventional society, they are an accepted minority."

[In Aug-Sep 2003] I traveled to Nevada to see, and experience, if this was in fact, true. Believe me when I say it is! My schedule only allowed four days, but they were a memorable four days of living nude among 30,000 textile campers for the entire period!

I was fairly confident because nudity was said to be acceptable, but approaching the Black Rock Desert, I was a bit nervous because I wasn't really sure of what to expect. My confidence was bolstered as I was met at the entrance by a topless volunteer greeter wearing only a bikini bottom and baseball cap. When she asked if I was looking for a particular theme camp, I boldly replied, "Anywhere I can be nude!" The reply was, "Anywhere you want."

[Part 2]