Quick Jaunt to Cedar Trails

A trip to Ohio has been on my agenda all summer, but every single weekend that we both had available was already filled. We proposed several dates, and all fell through. Lucky for us, some of the other plans fell through at the last possible minute on the first Friday of August. We both managed to take off work Monday for driving back -- we were set for a trip! Assuming everything goes right, that is.

Friday, after a full day of work (6:45pm), I scurried around collecting everything we might need for the trip and called up Chet and Lydia once I was on the road. I had no time to fire up the computer and plan the route, post my intentions on Twitter, or contact others to meet up with in Ohio. I had no time to double-check that I packed everything we needed. The plan was to pick up Percilla at 8pm and drive her clunker (which is better than my clunker) all night across several states to meet up with people we've never met before. What could possibly go wrong?

After being awake all night, I was lucky. I've pulled plenty of all-nighter's before. Sometimes I drag through the second day. Sometimes I feel sick. This time, as with only a few others, I actually felt awake the second day. I didn't even feel tired through the night until the sun was rising. After the sun was up more, I felt awake again. It's strange how that works.

We almost-blindly followed the GPS's recommendation for the fastest route, which resulted in a path that I would never want to drive in the daytime. Straight through Chicago, take a normally busy exit, follow a straight road with tons of stoplights through most of Indiana, then take alleys and county roads through small towns and rural areas until somehow ending up on the interstate we need.

We made it to mid-Ohio by 6:30am, jumped in Chet's car, and rode to Cedar Trails in southern Ohio. A stop had to be made at a small town store for some sandals and other forgotten supplies. We went from interstate, to nice roads, to skinny roads, to a really skinny gravel road. Cedar Trails is really tucked away. I like that.

The weather was perfect, but Cedar Trails still had a minimal crowd of around 25 when we arrived. Although crowds of naked people can be fun, having 60 acres to explore and most facilities nearly to yourself is an enjoyable experience as well. The exception to this was Saturday afternoon and evening, when the crowds doubled for the dart tournament and pool party. There was a good mix of people too, including 4 other couples our age and some teenagers who were having a blast in and around the pool area.

After arriving, the tent provided less entertainment than Chet was anticipating. Percilla and I work like a machine to get the tent raised, the air mattress full, the bed made, and everything moved into the tent. Perhaps the most entertainment he had was watching me pound in the tent stakes with my boot. Little did he know, I've done that ever since we've had a tent and it has always worked great -- so much so that I don't even bother packing a mallet. He at least helped in tying the side flaps down (something I never do), and in lending us a much better air mattress, pump, and lantern. We only spent nights in the tent. During the daytime, we all went to their air conditioned camper.

Saturday and Sunday had nearly the same routine. Breakfast, laze by the pool, lunch, some physical activity, supper, and an evening round of pool at the club or relaxing among tiki torches at the pool party. The food, generously provided by Chet and Lydia, was excellent! (It was better than what we normally eat.) Lazing around by the pool wasn't my favorite activity, but everyone else seemed to enjoy it. Percilla and I hid our pale Wisconsin skin under a large beach umbrella and some SPF 85. Lydia relaxed in the lounge chair under the sun, and Chet was blissfully gathering rays by floating in the pool. They're both well on their way to a chocolate bar tan. We at least got a little color during our stay, and it wasn't red.

The afternoons consisted of taking the paddle boat out for a spin around the lake, playing darts, playing bocce ball, playing pool, trying to get wifi from the camper, and hiking the trails. The paddle boat was fun, but the lake was a bit small for it and we were warned that it might bottom out in places. (The lake will have water added soon.) The bocce and horseshoe pits are excellent, with all needed items available. The pool table has everything too and is in great condition. We didn't try the badminton or volleyball, but I'm confident they're in similar shape.

The couple miles of trails were especially enjoyable for me. It's not often that I get to freehike with others and not have to worry about prudish textilers. The trails were well maintained, but that may change now that the person who created them has left. They were all nicely mowed during our visit. Trees were marked with orange tape, and fallen tree branches were placed on the sides to help identify the trail. At the top, there's a lovely prairie with wild flowers, horses (sometimes), and a lookout across a meteor crater.

It was apparent that I was at home on the trails. I could glide through them all with little effort. To be fair, everyone could keep up with a good pace, but I was the least tired and could've gone multiple times in a row. I was also the one spotting the wildlife, with one exception being a spider on a web that Lydia nearly ran into. When the four of us were hiking on Sunday, I was calling things out. "Look -- there's a tree frog!" "Look -- there's a baby snake! Don't step on it!" Saturday, when Chet and I first went on the trails, I spotted the only wildlife. "Look -- there's a skunk only 15 feet away with it's tail in the air!"

We stopped dead in our tracks. There was absolutely no scent, so it didn't feel too threatened yet. It was also facing us, which is a good side to be on. We slowly crept down the trail to get by it and it also made a slow retreat into a trench. Whew! We didn't even want to consider the consequences if we would've been sprayed. Chet and I would've been confined to the tent and shower stalls, and everyone would be avoiding us. The car ride home would've been unpleasant too. We might've even used up all the water getting that scent off.

Water is an issue at Cedar Trails. Due to some obscure regulations, water needs to be trucked in from the city for public use. The owner does this himself -- a few times each day he'll take a truck with a big tank in the bed to the city, fill it up, and unload it into large tanks around the resort. I'm unsure if the water can be considered drinkable, but none of us chance it. The locals know about the water situation and really try to minimize their use of it. Day-trippers might not know. My suggestion is that a sign should be posted informing everyone that water gets trucked in and to ask that they minimize use of it. I took navy showers while I was there.

The bathhouse at Cedar Trails is absolutely brilliant for the purpose it serves. It's the best designed bathhouse I've ever seen. The picture on the website shows the front. It has an entry door on each side, with large custom windows to let light in. The inside has two open showers between the doors which allow easy access between sides if the showers aren't in use. There is no male/female designation. There is no ceiling, just the roof, so the window light goes everywhere. There is a private toilet stall on each side, along with a regular sink, mirror, shelf for putting things on, and a large sink for washing dishes or clothes. The lights by the sink and mirror are on a 15 minute timer. Additionally, you'll notice on the picture that there is something between the doors. This is a whole-building 75 minute timer, which controls power to the lights, hot water heater, small heater (when needed), small air conditioner (when needed), and ceiling fans. Lastly, cleaning supplies are readily available with a sign saying "Please clean up after yourself. You're mother doesn't live here." Based on how clean it was, I'd have to say that people adhere to this guideline.

Another wonderful idea they tried was a Snorkel hot tub. (Snorkel is famous for having a wood-fired aluminum stove that sits right in the water.) The first problem they had was keeping the temperature comfortable, which they eventually mastered. The second problem couldn't be fixed. As people get in and out of the tub, the water level would constantly get low. Low water is a problem for the Snorkel stoves because if there is not enough water around them, they can overheat and melt. Their conclusion is that the Snorkels are great for home use, but not as a resort centerpiece. I plan to buy one for our personal off-grid hot tub.

Cedar Trails has a certain kind of charm that is rare to find. The couple that purchased and developed the land have put their hearts and souls into creating a high quality nudist retreat. As far as I can tell, they've succeeded. Percilla and I had a great time, with great company, and are looking forward to a return visit in the future. Maybe next time I can plan things a little better!

Stories from VVRC (Part 2)

This story is from a new guest blogger. See part 1 for details.

-----

Greetings! Call me "Bob" (of "Alice and Bob" fame, the ballroom dancing couple mentioned a few times in this blog). The Academic Naturist asked me if I would like to contribute anything as a guest blogger, so I thought I would relate an experience from last summer at VVRC, and the ruminations resulting therein.

Alice and I are not members of VVRC but we visit every chance we get during the warmer months. Valley View was our first nudist experience, and it was the people we met there, more than anything else, that made it a pleasant, easy going experience for us. We have been to several other places since then (Sunny Haven in IN, Cypress Cove in FL, Turtle Lake in MI, etc.) but for coziness, relaxation and economy of travel time, we always keep coming back to Valley View... and primarily because of the people there.

And speaking of people, I want to relate a story involving a small child I'll call "Donna" ("Carol" is already taken by a friend of ours - see A.N.'s entry regarding last February’s winter party). Donna is about six years old and typically plays with any other children who happen to be around. When she's void of playmates her own age, she'll hang out with Alice, whom Donna thinks is "really really cool." Donna's mother sometimes worries Alice feels put-upon, but my wife is a trooper and Donna is not terribly high-maintenance.

On with the tale: last summer, when Donna was five, Alice and I stuck around for the monthly "Munchie Mixer," a production at the clubhouse put on by the VVRC members wherein they feed the guests in an effort to get to know them better. Alice and I really enjoy these because it gives us an opportunity to meet any new visitors we may have missed during the day with our typically busy schedule of reading by the pool, tanning by the pool, swimming in the pool, chatting with friends by the pool... you get the idea.

This time in particular we had pizza at the Mixer. Alice got our plates, found seats to settle into next to some newbies, and to no one's surprise Donna appeared with her plate stacked high with slices and announced: "Hi, Alice! I’m gonna sit by YOU!"

So we ate and conversed and little Donna occasionally offered up observations involving the pool, Barbies, and some of the VVRC members' pets that are nice to play with. After a while, I felt the call of nature and excused myself to head off to the men's room.

Sidebar, now, as I explain something about the layout of VVRC. The acreage is primarily populated by campers, some permanent, the majority summer-only. There is a small but respectable camping area on the property, over by the clubhouse, which is at the opposite end of the land from the entrance, where the office is located. While the clubhouse has refrigerators, stoves and running water, it does not have restrooms. For that sort of facility one has a choice of

A) The pool house
B) The showers - located more or less in the center of the property
C) The outhouses located right outside the clubhouse

Being a civilized and relatively normal socialized North American male of the 21st century, I decided on option "B" when I left the clubhouse to tend to my needs; it was closer than the pool house and had the much preferred feature of soap and running water for afterwards.

So I started on my way down the gravel path to the showers when I suddenly heard a familiar little voice cry out: "Hey! Hey! Bob!"

I turned around and saw little Donna, a smear of pizza sauce on her little face, running towards me with some urgency.

"What’s up?" I asked.

"You know, you can go there." She declared, pointing to the outhouses.

"Yes, but I would much rather go there," I replied, pointing to the showers and wondering if I would have to explain the importance of personal hygiene, especially when about to handle food.

From our vantage point, Donna could only see the entrance to the men’s room.

"But that one's for guys. Anyone can use those!" She retorted, pointing again to the outhouses with a little more emphasis.

"And that's okay, Donna, because I am a guy."

She looked at me blankly, for a moment, and then lowered her gaze and stared at me for a second.

"Yeah! You are!" she said, looking me in the face, again. "Okay! Bye!"

And she turned around and went back into the clubhouse to hang with the wife.

I continued on my way and for the briefest moment I was a little disturbed to have been scoped by a five year old... and then realized her attitude was the same as a kid picking up a hamster to see if its a boy or a girl: she was just checking to verify my statement.

The implications are rather interesting. Donna has been involved in nudism all her life. She is fully aware of the physical differences between men and women. So much so she does not really think about gender differences when communicating with people. It seems to me that without cultural gender markers (of which clothing, in American society, is a major set), to a growing nudist child primary and secondary sexual characteristics are about as common and mundane as fingers, noses, and eyebrows. To them, it's all just "people parts" and don't matter unless they are taught they should... such as which restroom one should use.

And in a time and place where we as a nation are, at least nominally, striving for gender equality, doesn’t it seem nudism is the best thing possible to teach our children so they can respect themselves and others?

Stories from VVRC (Part 1)

A quick story from me, and a quick story from a new guest blogger in part 2.

We spent 4th of July weekend at VVRC and had a great time, as usual. We met up with Alice and Bob again and had perfect weather this time around. (Last time, it was opening weekend and very cold.)

A few days prior to our trip, I had a frightening message come in from Bob: "Are you the Academic Naturist?" My first thought, as usual, is "what did I write and will he be angry about it?" Most people, when they stumble upon my blog, always seem to find something that I've done wrong and get upset about it. I was afraid that I had lost some good friends, again.

To my surprise, Bob thought it was neat (and sufficiently anonymous). He also admitted to being a writer. Hmmm... I have an idea forming.

Quite frankly, I've been too busy. The project at my day job has kept me working anywhere from 50 hours to 75 hours per week over the last six months, with a deadline that resembles a carrot on a stick that I can never quite catch. Spare time is at a premium, and my priorities often leave blogging in the dust. With that in mind, I asked Bob to write up a story and he eagerly accepted.

The intent was that he'd write the story of our visit. But, the story of our visit brings forth some very touchy subjects that he didn't dare write about. I don't blame him a bit. Instead, he wrote a story from the past with a unique observation and conclusion that easily fits into my "academic" category. His story is part 2, posted tomorrow. I hope he sends more my way, whenever inspiration hits.

Back to those touchy subjects... I've been very indecisive about telling that story, too. However, I'm one of the few naturist bloggers who take pride in keeping a journal of my naturist adventures on a public blog. The journal would have a large hole in it if I didn't write this story, so here it goes!

We met a couple who shared a cabin with Alice and Bob. We didn't recognize them, but they recognized us and didn't say anything that night. (Don't you hate when that happens!) Leaving many details aside, they broke the resort rules by getting frisky in the shared cabin fully knowing that they were not alone and not hidden from view. It's not as bad as you may be thinking, but bad enough to reasonably warrant a complaint. They had a strict talking-to from the resort staff. (Thank you VVRC staff -- keep up the good work of cracking down on people like this!) However, they were not kicked out. The female left for work, and the male awkwardly remained in the cabin.

The male told Bob all about knowing us. Bob relayed this information to me. The female works near Percilla, and the male works near me. We didn't care, but apparently this frightened both of them.

The male approached Percilla and I while we were sitting on the steps in the pool. I knew it was the start of a delightful conversation when he started with: "I've always believed that the best defense is a strong offense." I knew the outcome of this conversation, and I knew it wouldn't be pretty for him. He continued by telling us that he has a very high-ranking position, that nobody knows they are naturists due to their bosses/coworkers being extremely against that sort of thing, that the female knows everyone Percilla works with, that he knows everyone I work with, and that he'd like to keep the naturism thing a secret. I promised that I wouldn't tell anybody, simply because I'm a nice guy and respect his wishes. He was being as polite as possible while obviously threatening me.

He then asked, far too late in the conversation, if we've told anyone that we're naturists. Percilla spoke up and said "everyone -- friends, family, coworkers, even my boss who knows I'm here today." He responded in udder disbelief, "Really!!!?" I chimed in with a similar line. At that moment, he knew he had absolutely nothing on us. Indeed, the best defense is a strong offense. He'd s--t a brick if he knew I was a blogger and was telling the story to a global audience.

Later on, he approached Percilla when she was alone and asked for our contact information. She only pointed him in my direction. A while later, with PDA in hand, he sat next to me and asked for our contact info and he'd give us his. I simply said, "We'll see you here." He froze for a moment, said "OK -- fair enough", and left.

There's a great lesson in this story, and it's about information management. If he had never said that he knew us, we would've never known. Instead, he told me enough about himself (while making threats) that I could hop online and find his full name, address, phone number, workplace, position, and just about anything else that is public information. What does he have on us? Our first names and where we work -- pulling more information would be difficult, but not impossible. Our workplaces don't publish a directory publicly.

There's also something to be said about respect for "closet naturists". Most naturists will not repeat names or talk about others while in the textile public. Even if we knew our neighbors or coworkers were naturists, we wouldn't repeat it to others unless we knew it was OK. It's a sort of naturist ethical guideline. If someone is worried about it, a confirmation of respecting privacy is all that is needed -- not idle threats.

Despite that one couple, we still had a great time at VVRC! Great weather, great company, and an entertaining campground. We'll be back soon!

What's In a Name?

In textile areas, people identify each-other with names. In naturist areas, people also identify each-other with names. But, for a variety of reasons, naturists don't want their names in front of a textiled crowd. Names can be used to link people to their work, hobbies, or interests. Some of those may conflict with naturism.

One of the biggest challenges I've faced while blogging is the use of names. Some naturists have their full names (and sometimes pictures too) on all kinds of naturist websites. A search engine query makes it readily apparent that they are naturists and proud of it. Others only go by first names, which therefore obfuscates search results. Some may use fake names, and still others choose to never use a name at all. With all that said -- what name can I use if I'm writing about them?

I've tried all sorts of things. I started with generic phrases such as "my girlfriend", "nice couple", "ballroom couple", and "slightly-crazy 40 y/o motorcycler". I've heard complaints about NOT using names, as-if I don't really know the person. I've also heard complaints about continuing to use the phrase "my girlfriend" because people think it's somehow derogatory. Sorry, but she doesn't want to use her real first name on this blog. Her newly chosen name is Percilla.

When I started writing the Mazo Manor series, I opted to copy the Meerkat Manor TV show by giving people nicknames that somehow matched a unique trait. In all honesty, this worked great! Maybe even too great! I found it easier to remember the nicknames than the actual names. Which, of course, presents a problem when you want to call out their name at the beach. Also, I heard complaints about some of the names. They were never meant to be derogatory but some figured out a way to become offended.

More recently, I've been using "standard names" on a temporary per-post basis. Alice, Bob, Carol, Dave, Eve, and so on are commonly used in research papers instead of "Person A", "Person B" and so on down the alphabet. This worked fine for a few academic-style posts, but it recently broke when I tried to apply it to real people. The couple we met who were first named Alice and Bob became good friends, and the names have therefore become permanent.

So what should I do in the future?

The standard at most venues is to go first-name-only. The problem with first names is that other naturists know them, and therefore I shouldn't use real first names if I want to keep people as anonymous as possible.

Even if I switch up the names by assigning random ones, there may be some sort of false identity that arises. I describe a person with the name Alice, and it sounds like an Alice that you may know. That could end up bad.

People don't like real names, generic phrases, or nicknames. Standard names won't last long. I'm running out of options here...

Should I switch to assigning unique numbers, like the government? Hello, 123-456! Should I develop a cryptographic hash? Here's my friend, A4B3C2D1. Other blogs chop down names to only the first letter, so Alice would be called "A". I don't like any of these options either.

So what is your preference? I'm accepting any and all suggestions!

Do you Freehike?

The Vernon County Broadcaster wants to know!

See their homepage and vote.

Also feel free to post a comment on the story. (That requires registration though.)

I'm still trying to wrap my head around why they threaten police involvement for something they say is legal. Also, why they threaten disorderly conduct for confrontation that we clearly intend to avoid. This whole episode is surreal.

Local News

I don't normally report on the news, but there are two stories from Saturday worth noting:

Naked cyclists protest oil, promote positive body images.
The World Naked Bike Ride came to Madison, Wisconsin after several false starts in previous years. Although the police report that things went smoothly (in the included video), 10 citations were issued for "disorderly conduct" due to complaints. There were 107 total riders -- which is impressive! The ride ended with everyone properly covered up. There are a few pictures and videos out there (including an interesting first-hand account and watching riders pass by). I hadn't realized that Nicholas, whom I've met twice before at events, was an organizer for the event. The first-hand account from the link above describes the "leader got taken away". I can only assume that he was one of the people who were cited. I wish them the best of luck in avoiding a conviction, and I hope they're at it again next year!

I didn't go for two simple reasons: No bikes, and putting in a 74 hour work-week. I wish I could've been there and I wish I could've reported a first-hand account of the event.

In the buff, in the bluffs: Vernon County hikers getting back to nature.
(La Crosse Tribune reprint, originally from the Vernon County Broadcaster.)
I certainly didn't intend on that publicity, especially on the top of the website and with my luck probably on the front page of the paper too. They never contacted me as part of the article, and I wish they had. At the moment, I'm not really sure what to think of it. I'm happy that they didn't write the article in a condemning way. It has a very neutral sound to it. I like that they wrote about our efforts to minimize a confrontation through the use of signs and a way of contact. But, they seem to threaten a "disorderly conduct" citation. I can't see how that charge would stick though since we're making every effort to NOT be disorderly. People have the choice to avoid what they may consider disorderly and still be able to use the park.

Several of the 12 comments on the Tribune article seem supporting. Others, as expected, just seem confused. I'm inclined to add a comment myself.

The only problem with the article is that it raises awareness. Some people might think "Cool! How can I participate?" Others, who typically have much louder voices, will say "There's no law against it? Let's make one!" I will need to start watching the Vernon County politics much closer.

May Fools

April showers are supposed to bring May flowers -- not May fools! I was over it. I didn't want to talk about it. But TNS wants to talk about it, so lets talk about it! In N 29.4, there is a writeup titled "April Fools joke gone wrong." They really shouldn't have written it. Readers of this blog know who they're talking about in the article. Now, since it's in the spotlight, I feel obligated to straighten a few things out.

I openly admit that it was a bad decision on my part with how I wrote the original post and associated fake story. I should've been more clear, limited myself to a single day, and wrote things less convincingly with fake names. Or, I shouldn't have written anything at all. I've already stated that I will never again do an April Fools joke. I didn't get it right last year either, and one of the local people involved this year should've remembered that. I learned my lesson by the second week in April. What TNS has done since then has surpassed my single bad decision with several of their own. I foolishly put out the bait an hour before April 1st, and they bit hard and foolishly ran too far with it.

First of all, I was confused about who wrote the N writeup. Tracy lives in Massachusetts, and therefore had nothing to do with the whole ordeal. How she got assigned to write the story, I have no idea. All I know is that she, or any other TNS person, never contacted me as part of her reporting. I'm also not clear about what the writeup intends to achieve. Everyone already knows that stuff on the internet can't be trusted. Especially so on April Fools. It's written like they are trying to help their credibility, at least for the last two paragraphs. The rest seems to damage it and take NAC down in the process.

Bob has been the only mature, logical person that was directly involved. With everything he said, he was clear and to the point without being condemning. He was willing to look past my single bad decision and focus on the future. Live, learn. With this attitude, NAC is most certainly in good hands! Others can learn a lot from him. Although Bob supposedly "confirmed" the fake story, in talking with me he made it clear that he was very skeptical in calling it plausible. How Tracy put that as "confirmed" in the N article, I have no idea. It makes NAC look bad when really they aren't.

Everyone else has been acting like children so far. Anyone who saw the comments on the Sunday-after post can attest to that -- it's like TNS sent an office-wide memo to attack. If they wanted to rip me a new one, they should've done it privately via phone or email like mature adults. I'd accept it and we'd both move on. Attacking anyone, ever, in a public space is really bad for a public image -- and TNS should've been thankful that I deleted it all instead of leaving it in the public light. I understand that they were upset, and I let them vent about it without responding. It's time to move on, right? Apparently not.

Most adults who fall for a prank, or do something stupid, usually just laugh it off and never talk about it again. They're embarrassed about it. They might remain mad for a while -- but does that really accomplish anything? More to the point, they choose to not talk about it. They don't go around telling new friends "hey, here's a story of how I stupidly fell for a prank." What would their friends think? They might laugh at the story initially, but then slowly back away and look for better friends.

AANR, who has triple the membership, had to know about the fake story also. They did the right thing by presumably flagging it as a hoax, not saying a word about it, and letting it drop off the radar. TNS, on the other hand, has now stood up and told the whole world that they were fooled by a simple joke for a dreadfully long time. What will readers think of this?

The article makes it sound like TNS got a lot of calls, and that a lot of people were spreading the news. It is unlikely for this to be the case. I had no calls from anybody (per the caller ID), no emails, no comments on the post, nothing in usenet, nothing in the nudist social networks I participate in, nothing in the forums I participate in, no mentions on other blogs, no links to the blog post or fake news article (found by google), and searching for "Prairie du Chien nude beach" had no new results. I genuinely thought that nobody had given it a second thought, until Bob called late Sunday to tell me otherwise. Per my site statistics, there were 96 hits from around the world on the fake news story link that month. I'm fairly certain that a majority of those were from everyone involved at TNS during the investigation, several were bots, several were after the story was removed, and several were probably me. All-in-all, it's unlikely that very many people in the Midwest even saw it or knew about it. Well, until now.

I knew the location would be a crappy location for a beach. The water level was too high at that point in time for there to even be a beach. I expect they found a tiny patch of grass that dumped straight into the water. I also checked the weather prior to the post, and knew that Thursday April 1st was the only day warm enough to be naked. (Friday and the weekend ended up around 60 and was rainy.) I played up going on the 1st by saying I was headed that way and that the area skinny-dippers were planning to have a party. (TNS apparently doesn't know of any Prairie-area skinny-dippers, otherwise they should've called them.) Nobody in their right mind would go on a rainy and cold day, and by the end of the weekend I'd have the post flagged as an April Fools joke. (I was out of town that weekend.) Even in the unlikely event that someone made the mad dash to the beach on April 1st, common sense would prevail in that the location sucks and there are absolutely no signs or naked people around. And, most importantly, the fact that it was April 1st should've been a red flag. Tracy's worst-case scenario was extremely unlikely despite how she made it sound.

I still can't believe that anyone fell for it enough to make the trip. I really can't. (Other commenters on the Sunday-after post said they identified it as fake within about "15 minutes".) Nicky admitted that she couldn't find the news story on the Courier Press website. Well, duh! It's an extremely simple site with all the news for that day in a block. The "slight variation" of the URL was "http://www.prairieduchienarea.com/courier/" vs. "http://courierpress.wwncw.org/". It's not that slight, and there were a lot of changes in the look of the website between my stripped-down copy from mid-March and the real site on April 1st. If the story was real, it would've been on the main page with the other stories for that day, and people would be making a big deal about it.

Even if the webpage design and URL were overlooked, there were other indications that it can't be real. In the research Tracy lists, with TNS and NAC crawling the web, they should've found holes in the story itself:

• Nude beaches just don't appear like that. Ever. Key West businesses overwhelmingly support a nude beach, but the council has been dragging their feet for over a year now. There has been a ton of publicity around it. Do you really think one could just pop up with very little publicity and no outcry? I even mention the Key West beach in the story as a sort of reminder. In the history of the US, there has been only one city which has legally declared a nude beach. The chances of it happening are very slim.
  
• How many political officials do you know who are openly nudist? The chances that the mayor and a council member both go to Mazo Beach and are willing to talk openly about it is extremely rare. Even more rare is that they manage to convince an entire city to go along with the idea, especially since nobody liked one of them.
  
• The 9-3 vote for the beach can't be correct. Practically all of the council members are members of churches, schools, police/fire departments, organizations, and have respectable families. There is no way that 9 council members would vote in support of a nude beach and only 3 would be opposed.
• Nobody in the story opposed the beach. In a fair and balanced story, reporters always seek a comment from someone who is against it. Typically this is very easy to get.
• There was nothing about the children. Wasn't anyone worried about the children?
• The time between the vote and having the signs in place was very tight. Putting in the order, processing the order, delivering the order, and getting crews to erect the signs within a maximum of 7 business days seems a bit unrealistic.
  
• The long-term resident quoted in the story doesn't exist. If they were a long-term resident, there would be search results about something they've done or whitepage listings.
  
• The fake story talked about the "buckskinners" at Rendezvous, and that a nude beach isn't much beyond that. (Ignore the fact that there has been less and less skin over the years at Rendezvous, and no pictures or comments exist online about how much flesh is shown.) It's like saying that going from a swimsuit to fully nude isn't a big step. Naturists agree, but the rest of society most certainly doesn't.
• Prairie du Chien doesn't even have a designated public textile beach. How could naturists, a vast minority, get a beach of their own?

Fool me once... OK, so they made the trip to the beach and noticed a complete lack of signs, beach, and naked people. Why did the investigation continue? OK, so the police knew nothing of it. If anyone knew the latest news, it would be them! Did they really need to call Pintz at that point? Did they really need to spend time writing comments on my blog? Did they really need to spend time writing an article? The only person whose "valuable time" was wasted, instead of being used to "further the cause of naturism and its positive effects", was Bob. I'm sure Bob would've been researching and working on naturist projects at that time. TNS and the NAC area rep involved, on the other hand, I doubt would've been hard at work promoting naturism on that cold Easter weekend. Once they suspected the story as a fake (like when it wasn't on the news site), they should've stopped all activity since anything more would be a waste. Or, they should've called my girlfriend or I for a final confirmation that it was a hoax. (They have the number -- home phone is with our membership and cell phone was printed in N 28.4) Instead, they kept going and going. The amount of time "wasted" is mostly their own fault.

Like anything, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. This year: In Spain, naked spectators watched a golf tournament per the Huffington Post. The Border Mail in Australia reported on a new nude beach. MIT reported (with video) on a naked physics lecture series with the next one being at 12am April 1st. The Times in London reported on a clothing-optional borough. The Improv Everywhere group even convinced the New York Times that over a thousand people had gone completely bottomless on NY subways and that nobody complained. TNS didn't report on any of these, and they are all much larger media sources.

The fact that TNS and NAC spent so much time trying to prove that a new beach was plausible, and ignoring the obvious signs that it wasn't, is a now-public disgrace thanks entirely to TNS. TNS seems hell-bent in teaching me a lesson with all of this, but it's really them who need the lesson this time around. Tracy's advice is that "common sense and a mature responsibility should indeed be part of the equation to prevent possible unintended consequences." Common sense would've flagged the article as a fake. Mature responsibility wasn't exercised when they attacked me through blog comments, and when they decided to broadcast the event to the world. TNS's recent publication will fuel unintended consequences against them. Readers will question the efficiency and reliability of TNS operations. AANR will point and laugh, and maybe even publish it. This blog post is another unintended consequence -- and will be the only one from me. I'm done talking about it. I'm tired of it. Hopefully everyone else will get over it and move on too. I learned my lesson a month ago -- will TNS learn theirs?

On the bright side, I volunteered to help investigate future April 1st time-frame news stories and claims. It's clear that they need help in that department.

Side-note 1: If the city is working hard to increase tourism, maybe creating a nude beach would be a good idea. It'll cause a lot of publicity, and because of Mazo they know a lot of people would go to it. (This is all assuming they can find a place to make a beach.) The main reason why my fake story was so convincing is because it really is a good idea for any city to consider.

Side-note 2: The entire island is reservable. You know, just in case a "Midwest Naturist Gathering" were to happen. Make sure to bring up tourism dollars and the hundreds that would probably go!