Bare Bones Bash 2008

My vivacious lady-friend and I attended the Badger Naturists / Friends of Mazo Beach Bare Bones Bash Halloween party. Pictures were taken, which may eventually end up on their website as promised.

Prior to the event, we had to pick costumes. Since this was the first time we had gone to this event, we didn't want to go overboard with the costumes. Our goal was something simple, something funny or cute, and something that matches. Lucky for us, I have a Burning Man obsession. Burning Man, although not quite as good as the Halloween party in Madison, is a great place for costume ideas. I recalled a picture where the female was dressed as a cute bunny, and the male wore nothing except a certain spot painted like a carrot. I'd link to the picture, but after hours of searching over the last month I just can't find it! I'm really not fond of drawing attention to certain areas of my body, but the idea was too good to pass up.

While my girlfriend was giving a coworker a ride, the coworker noticed the bunny ears, bow tie, and bunny tail. She then asked "Is that your costume?" My girlfriend answered yes. "Where's the rest of it?" Silence... "There IS more to it, right?" "Wait, do I even want to know?" She knows about our lifestyle, so I'm sure she figured it out. Who DIDN'T figure it out is the store clerk when my girlfriend was shopping for make-up. "I need some orange and green since my boyfriend is dressing as a carrot." "So I'm guessing that the green is for his hair and the orange is for his skin?" "Yeah, something like that." If only she knew!

We arrived at the event and checked in to our rooms. Paper was still going up, so I donned the only normal-sized towel we brought. (I figured that we'd only be sitting on them, and knew I'd be wearing body paint. I brought a mini-towel and a regular towel that I didn't mind staining.) Steve from AllNudist (see his story) was one of the many that saw me wearing the towel. His comment was very direct: "It looks like you fished it out of the garbage after your mother threw it away." He proceeded to give me a free sarong because he felt so sorry for me. Thanks, I guess. I'll get some use out of it next summer too, or add it to my girlfriend's new collection.

My girlfriend isn't shy like I sometimes am. Before I knew it, we were signed up for most of the games. We donned our costumes and returned to the main event area. She wore just her bunny ears, bow-tie, and bunny tail (with an elastic band around her waist. I offered to buy her a more realistic tail but she made threats.) I wore my "carrot", with a small bunny on my hat and the words "She (heart)'s her veggies!" written on my chest. People always laughed when they figured it out-- so the costumes went over well! We won the "most original couple" costume award. We also got 3rd place in the candy corn throwing / catching game, 4th place in the back-o-lantern (where one person paints a Halloween image on the others' back), she got 3rd in bowling, and I won a quiz on "scary government". We brought home a bunch of stuff: TNS bags, pens, clip thingies, license plate cover, temporary tattoos, and 5 "N" magazines. After I read the magazines, I'll lend them to my friend to get her interested in joining us sometime. They might also make a good icebreaker if someone happens to see them in my book collection.

Actually, it's getting increasingly difficult to hide our lifestyle. We just keep bringing home more and more stuff. This time, however, we followed houseboat rules and got rid of some stuff too.

Part of the event was a food drive for the area to the south of where we were. It's been in the news how desperate the food pantries are getting, with many having to turn people away. Our target pantry was one of those that didn't have much of a stock left. The person who came to pick up the stuff was blown away -- the event collected a large table FULL of food items, and a fair amount of cash to donate.

This event took place at a hotel that is perfectly suited to naturist use. We brought in great business for the hotel, and kept the facilities just as clean as when we arrived. Even the hotel rooms were mostly clean! (My girlfriend and I helped out a lot, and part of that was checking the rooms and collecting keys.) It's a shame that not many businesses agree to do business with us -- they give up a win-win situation mostly because of the pressures of society.

If you didn't already figure it out -- we had a blast! Parties like these are amazing, and I will do everything I can to help out with future ones! I was in such a good mood that I bought a TNS membership for the next two years, mostly because they have a great magazine and a bunch of smart people that do a lot of good things.

I'll end this post with some other quotes from the evening...
"Do they even wear costumes over there?" - The lady at the gift shop, outside the venue.
"So that's how your tongue is so orange" - The award-winning cowboy, speaking to my girlfriend.
"Is it a vegetable or is it meat?" - A confused friend.
"I liked it better when it was a carrot" - The most prominent lady of the event.

UPDATE: As a follow-up joke, see what I got on the next Valentine's Day.