Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My Most Expensive Suit

I'm happy when dressed in my birthday suit. In fact, I want to wear it all the time. (Unless it's cold.) Despite it being initially free, it has by far been the most expensive suit to wear.

Where can I wear my birthday suit? Vacations to nudist resorts ($), nudist campgrounds ($), nude beaches (often $ to get to), or private land ($ to own). For full-time naturism, the choices are either living at a nudist campground or private land. Since no campgrounds exist nearby, and real estate is on sale at the moment, the best investment is land.

I could live just about anywhere, since I don't mind small living spaces. Living in town means I'm close to work. Cheap commute, cheap to get utilities, and cheap plots to buy. However, I'd like to be able to get the mail and do yardwork in my birthday suit. In some locations this would be OK (Spain?), but in the US a neighbor would call the police. Personally, I don't see what the big deal is with my favorite attire.

Culture's irrational opinion of what I like to wear forces an extra requirement onto our real estate purchase: Privacy. And let me tell you -- privacy is expensive! Everyone, deep down, wants a place that doesn't have close neighbors.

Furthermore, privacy isn't something that is measured. Realty sites list the plot size, anything it contains, and usually have pictures of the land/house itself. Never do they show the views from the land. Can we see the road from it? Can we see neighbors? How many of the neighbors will call the cops when they see our naked butts roaming around? None of this can be found on the listing.

It's been a frustrating search so far. Almost everything that looks to have privacy is way beyond what I can afford. I've looked at several plots of land over the last year. Only two had actual privacy. The first was 10 acres, where maybe 2 were actually usable. Our house would be private, but the driveway getting there would be impossible to climb in a vehicle during the winter. Also, the wooded areas were far too steep to do anything with. The second was perfect (per my ideal plot), a hilltop all to ourselves. But, it was slightly beyond my price range and had two very questionable easements to get there. (Neighbors shouldn't take each-other to court like that, and I don't want to get in the middle of it.) It's no longer listed anyway.

A recent viewing was of a 40 acre plot in my price range. It was right off the interstate, on the other side of a small hill. There was a picture of the very top of a semi on the interstate, showing it can't be viewed from the road. Other pictures show rolling green hills and valley with no houses, fences along the property, and a stream. Was this the perfect place? The 40 acres were stretched out in the bottom of a valley with the stream down the middle, and a house on the hillside on both sides. It was a cow pasture, and the cows looked much happier than we would be.

The search continues... Recently, we checked out a 20 acre parcel. It's close to town, full of trees, and includes everything but a house. One side is a fence, and one side is a road. The fence line runs along the the top of a hill -- sure the farmer could peek over, but it's unlikely. Trees block the view to the road, and to the houses on the other side. The only problem is that a single house on the other side of the road has a mostly-clear view down a considerable length of the property. If we add a house in the right place we could block that view, but it means the front lawn is off-limits for nude use. I'm not even sure if creative shrubbery could save the front yard.

It's difficult to decide what to do. Do we make an offer on this one, or gamble that a better one will appear? I admit that this property isn't perfect, but I think we could be happy there. I'd have to give up my idea of opening a small campground (or future resort) since this land wouldn't support it.

Have any of you been through this before? Did you find the perfect place, where you can wear your best suit anywhere you want? Do you have any tips on what to look for, or what to do to find that perfect place? Any tips on dealing with neighbors? Any tips on bargaining with realters? Please leave a comment.