Tuesday, December 29, 2009

My Most Expensive Suit

I'm happy when dressed in my birthday suit. In fact, I want to wear it all the time. (Unless it's cold.) Despite it being initially free, it has by far been the most expensive suit to wear.

Where can I wear my birthday suit? Vacations to nudist resorts ($), nudist campgrounds ($), nude beaches (often $ to get to), or private land ($ to own). For full-time naturism, the choices are either living at a nudist campground or private land. Since no campgrounds exist nearby, and real estate is on sale at the moment, the best investment is land.

I could live just about anywhere, since I don't mind small living spaces. Living in town means I'm close to work. Cheap commute, cheap to get utilities, and cheap plots to buy. However, I'd like to be able to get the mail and do yardwork in my birthday suit. In some locations this would be OK (Spain?), but in the US a neighbor would call the police. Personally, I don't see what the big deal is with my favorite attire.

Culture's irrational opinion of what I like to wear forces an extra requirement onto our real estate purchase: Privacy. And let me tell you -- privacy is expensive! Everyone, deep down, wants a place that doesn't have close neighbors.

Furthermore, privacy isn't something that is measured. Realty sites list the plot size, anything it contains, and usually have pictures of the land/house itself. Never do they show the views from the land. Can we see the road from it? Can we see neighbors? How many of the neighbors will call the cops when they see our naked butts roaming around? None of this can be found on the listing.

It's been a frustrating search so far. Almost everything that looks to have privacy is way beyond what I can afford. I've looked at several plots of land over the last year. Only two had actual privacy. The first was 10 acres, where maybe 2 were actually usable. Our house would be private, but the driveway getting there would be impossible to climb in a vehicle during the winter. Also, the wooded areas were far too steep to do anything with. The second was perfect (per my ideal plot), a hilltop all to ourselves. But, it was slightly beyond my price range and had two very questionable easements to get there. (Neighbors shouldn't take each-other to court like that, and I don't want to get in the middle of it.) It's no longer listed anyway.

A recent viewing was of a 40 acre plot in my price range. It was right off the interstate, on the other side of a small hill. There was a picture of the very top of a semi on the interstate, showing it can't be viewed from the road. Other pictures show rolling green hills and valley with no houses, fences along the property, and a stream. Was this the perfect place? The 40 acres were stretched out in the bottom of a valley with the stream down the middle, and a house on the hillside on both sides. It was a cow pasture, and the cows looked much happier than we would be.

The search continues... Recently, we checked out a 20 acre parcel. It's close to town, full of trees, and includes everything but a house. One side is a fence, and one side is a road. The fence line runs along the the top of a hill -- sure the farmer could peek over, but it's unlikely. Trees block the view to the road, and to the houses on the other side. The only problem is that a single house on the other side of the road has a mostly-clear view down a considerable length of the property. If we add a house in the right place we could block that view, but it means the front lawn is off-limits for nude use. I'm not even sure if creative shrubbery could save the front yard.

It's difficult to decide what to do. Do we make an offer on this one, or gamble that a better one will appear? I admit that this property isn't perfect, but I think we could be happy there. I'd have to give up my idea of opening a small campground (or future resort) since this land wouldn't support it.

Have any of you been through this before? Did you find the perfect place, where you can wear your best suit anywhere you want? Do you have any tips on what to look for, or what to do to find that perfect place? Any tips on dealing with neighbors? Any tips on bargaining with realters? Please leave a comment.


kenfreehiker said...

We also searched for a perfect place for our "private" naturist home. Then we found our happy place at Olive Dell Resort, rented a site, bought a trailer, and decided our thinking had been wrong headed.

We discovered we weren't really trying to get away from others; we only wanted to live naked around others who understood and wanted to live the same way. Olive Dell was perfect for a number of reasons, including:

- It's inexpensive (about $300 a month)

- We have lot's of area to freehike and garden nude

- We meet lots of new naturist friends who come to freehike and visit our nude garden (Dellymaze Park)

- We can swim in the pool and soak in the hot tub whenever we want and not have any upkeep

- We easily get together with naturist friends often to sing karaoke, eat, play games, etc.

- Major shopping and dining areas are just minutes away if we want to get out for a clothed time.

- We have even been able to start a business with naturist friends.

For us, it was a real revelation when we stopped looking for our own naturist haven and moved to a wonderful haven for naturists that already existed - Olive Dell Ranch - our happy place.


Tom Roark said...

You've hit the naturist question of our time. Why do I have to go out of my way to go naked? I once heard Margaret Meade tell a bunch of university hippies that everybody wants their own landscape, but not everybody can have their own landscape. That one didn't get as much applause as her recommendation of trophic-pyramid vegetarianism, but the two are related.

Twenty-first century lebensreform demands home-garden nudism. How do we establish that?

Alan said...

First let me say perfect does not exist. There is always something that could be better. In the end we have to make some compromises. The trick is not to compromise anything too important. At first glance my place was perfect but after living here a while I realize now that there is always room for improvement. For my part I would suggest getting as close to what you want and going for it. But realize that you will find things you don't see now later. Be prepared to live with it.

I really am happy with my place but I kind of wish we had just gotten a place at a nudist resort. Right now I am working on becoming a snowbird and taking the RV south in winter for 5-6 monthes. If that works out I may decide I can do that year round. Then again it may not work out. Life is a journey it's not so much about the destination as the ride to that destination.

hank said...

Do what I do. RENT a dumpy house in rural Wisconsin for $600-800 a month. Your house is your resort.

I walk naked to my lake 200' away for skinnydipping or to the woods for raw hiking. I'm nude 23/24 daytime unless a few neighbors are home during the day. I'm nude 24/24 at night, no curtains. Barefoot inside outside at home 24/7 from April to December. Go caveman.

Skip air-conditioning and a fancy kitchen or bathroom. Go Green.

Academic Naturist said...

@kenfreehiker -- The closest resort to me is about 1.5 hours away, which is quite a long commute. Also, they aren't open in the winter.

I did seriously consider a similar scenario a few years back. I could've lived at Mountain Air Ranch and worked about 20 minutes away by Denver. I would've been making double my current wage, and living at about half the cost. There are two problems though: snow, and family obligations. It's always possible in the future.

@Alan -- In a similar respect, I've heard the phrase "Marry the person whose faults you can live with." With land, it's more difficult because there's no "try before you buy" aspect. I don't think the realter would let me camp there for a month.

Do the faults you've discovered in your property ever make you regret buying it? Do you have the feeling that you paid too much for it? I may have to live with the faults, but at least right now I can assign a dollar value to them and adjust my offer accordingly.

@Hank -- The main problem I have with renting is that at the end, I'll own nothing. No return on my investment. Also, I don't want a dumpy (inefficient) house. I'm looking for land because I know how to build a very small, low-maintenance, and efficient house. It's a better investment in the long-run, saving me both time and money.

And you're completely right about A/C. There is no need for it in Wisconsin. It gets in the 90's for maybe 2 weeks during the summer, and going naked makes it feel like 80.

DonBC said...

Size is not always needed. We have a little over two acres and we can be nude almost everywhere on the property. We also have a swimming pool and a hot tub where you can be comfortably nude. The cleared part of our yard is a shelf about 15' above the street with about a 80 high rock bluff to the rear. I am cleared to the property lines of both lots on either side but their acreages are twice as large and their finished area are near the centre of their lots with lots of trees between there and my lot. Our house and pool are next to the lot line on one side but the neighbour can't see us unless he comes right over to the property lines. He knows that we are usually nude in the yard so it is not an issue. It is the most stress free place that we have ever lived and it may be difficult to duplicate if we should ever decide to move.

hank said...

Academic, with rent you have no equity, but if you build your energy-efficient green home, will people buy it when you try to sell? Now, you can't sell a house unless it has the latest in energy-consuming: high ceilings, big bay windows,4 showers, granite kitchen, open spaces, no bushes or little trees, etc. Consumers want luxury = energy. But it's not what you want.

With a down economy for at least 3 years, how safe is your job by 2012? If you own, a creditor can seize your home's equity, all for naught. Us renters get off.

I live naked in a hole, but with duck tape I sealed up my 1890 windows. I turned off the hot water tank and take sponge baths in the sink. No washer, drier, dish washer, or microwave. Use laundromats or my sister's. I'm on temporary disability so I go green.

Try renting a couple years in the country and be nude outside. Remember, "you pay for your thrills" and the saddest words are "what could have been." Go naked like you wanna do, but rent or you're gonna regret the chance.

Allnudist - Steve said...

I asked my Realtor about this issue, explaining what it was all about. Here is her response:

"This is not as strange as you think! If they let me know a little more about what they are looking for - like bedrooms, price, etc - I don't really care what they garden in - I can send them listings and when they find one they might want to see, I would get as much info as I could with maps and such they could peruse before they committed to a showing. Could even get a map so they see exactly where the neighbors are in relation to the property. You might be surprised to know all the strange requests I have had. The requests did not make anyone less special as individuls. You gotta like them as they are or you miss a lot of life!

They don't need to know anything about what I know of their lifestyles if they would feel uncomfortable with that, however, it helps to know as much as you can about a client so you can help them find what they are looking for. And if they would rather not work with me, just let them know if they explain they want a great deal of privacy to a realtor, that would be sufficient, but tell them to ask for maps and a lot of info before they go on showings."

Incedently, she does handle property in your area. Good luck!

Academic Naturist said...

@hank -- I'm in a unique situation, my job thrives in this economy and remains strong in a good economy. I'm certain that I can pay off the loan.

Also, I'm a consumer and I don't want all that luxury. More consumers are going in that direction. I don't plan to sell anyway. Lastly, I currently rent, so I'm not missing out.

@Steve -- I've been in contact with 3 realters, and I've heard the same thing. I've asked all three that if they ever find a property where I can mow the lawn naked, I'll be seriously interested. I've had NO response. The one that tried simply searched the listings for "private" or "secluded" and found several properties that really weren't.

Like she said, she wants to know the specs (bedrooms, bathrooms, size). I don't care -- I just want privacy, which is a statistic they don't track. Even checking the maps doesn't help; trees can block close neighbors, hills can block a road, or areas that look private may not be at all. Privacy can't be judged until someone is standing on the property contemplating getting naked.

If your realter can find a new property in my area (up to a 30 minute commute) that satisfies my 1 simple criteria, I'll be interested and willing to work with her. As far as I know, there is only one and I am already perusing it.

Anonymous said...

I am quite happy with my home. I did put in a privacy fence and that has been a good thing. I sometimes wish I had a property where I could be nude on the entire acreage however I am over all very pleased. I think the only thing better would have been to have a property that was adjacent to a nudist resort that would be heaven.


Anonymous said...

There is a Realtor in my area that occasionally advertises a property with the comment that "it's so secluded that you could garden naked"


Anonymous said...

In the new America, privacy costs money. When does it costs money for me to be naked?? This is just another example of the loss of personal freedom in America.